For some of the haughtier around here, boorish behavior = simply the expression of an opinion they take strong exception to.
Several times I've been called "stupid" by the better-than-thou crowd and that was tacitly overlooked by the powers that be because my opinion was not their own.
There is a way of stating an opinion that can cross the line. But some folks think some opinions themselves do that - if they disagree with them.
As I said privately to someone else I don’t envy the mods their jobs. There are at least two areas where this gets really complicated to me.
1. Someone will take a general swipe at “an attitude” they don’t like. They can belittle, disparage or vilify this attitude without calling any names. They can then claim that this wasn’t a personal attack because, even though they called them a piece of s_ _ _, they didn’t specifically name anyone. This effectively delivers their level of destain and no one was supposed to take it personally. Until the ad hominem roars back from the other side.
2. I hate to say it but a couple of posters on here can get away with more than others. Their strongly held opinions are apparently more knowledgeable than the rest of us so they can essentially call you a fool and get away with it. If they call you a fool it must be true because nobody knows fools better than them and you should not take it personally.
All of this could be helped if we all tried to practice a simple rule. If I disagree with someone it is the idea I am disagreeing with not the character of the person expressing the idea. When things get heated it might mean just saying “we disagree” and move on. But, as I am sure you have noticed, some can’t let a disagreement drop. And even after you have agreed to disagree they will subtlety keep inserting that opinion in other conversations, other topics and other threads. If you ignore it, unfortunately, it becomes settled law. One example is that years ago people expressed strong opinions about CPJ’s recruiting that totally contradicted everything the man ever said publicly about recruiting. But some of us gave up on that argument and just started ignoring the comments. Because they said it for so long with little push back they now say, “Everybody agrees that Johnson didn’t like recruiting.” The fact that this became fact when it wasn’t a fact may be a small part of why we have Collins now.
End of diatribe.