*Steps to the 🎙 *
*Taps it a few times, coughs and clears his throat*
I went 7+ and it’s not just gold colored glasses. Here we go, take a peek inside my optimism:
Week 1, feels like Weak 1: we get crushed. Clemson will be out for blood after a long offseason being told how poorly they performed last year. They’re bouncing at the gates to grab a w and we are the unfortunate sobs who play them.
Week 2, Mount the Catamounts: same but in reverse we let out the aggression from knowing we are a better team than last year and play with a sense of urgency. We show those cats from Western Carolina that dry rubbed pork > mustard BBQ and stomp the little guys. No longer shall we be beaten by the sisters of the poor teams. So hear me, we shan’t do that again. Also the OL situation starts to come together as the transfers gel (hopefully we will have picked up some more help in the portal but they missed the spring so are coming up to speed).
Week 3, us versus the rebellion: I believe we have to win this game to have a solid back half of the schedule. We grow up this week and beat the rebels, staving off our own rebelling fans and start to turn the corner. The team is bought in and ready to roll now, and since we are being optimistic we avoid the injury bug that has been lurking around for what feels like forever based on the changes in our conditioning staff.
Week 4, the Knights bend a knee: with some wind in our sails the guys rally to remember it’s go time. We cruise into the beach scene down south and remind those knights, they serve at the pleasure - and it pleasures us to snag another pelt. We leave with a win and play some lights out defense. I at this point will be privately snickering at
@kg01 treating all the poor souls who have up till now lost hope to some Counting Crows ice cream, brought to you by Mayyfield’s™
Week 5, the Pitts: Regrettably just as poor Icarus crashed into the sea of despair by flying to far up; we see a road game at Pittsburg and lose this one. (I think it’s possible we win here and lose the following week with the same reason, but liked the pitts moniker so pit the L here).
Week 6, Split with Pitt the devils in the detail: as mentioned above we split these two games. I don’t think we have the ability to carry week to week to week consistency quite yet. Also until Chip and Brent get the hardnosed attitude more completely established we are too easily corrupted by the unbridled positivity of CGC so we will lose one or the other from lack of focus and reading too much of our own positive press.
Week 7, comes at a great time physically and mentally. We regroup and come out swinging.
Week 8, the horror of The Who’s: Charlottesville is the first city I think of that I love being in every day save the ones we have a gameday during. We are just so unlucky up there, thankfully we get them at our house and they’re figuring out their new Elliott coaching situation so we beat them in a close one.
Week 9, ATL loses its tomahawk: we come in 5-2, but we leave 5-3 as a night game is too much pressure to overcome from the tribe.
Week 10, road woes continue: never like the odds of playing up at their house. We lose this one in a closeish game. Fans start getting restless again - someone repeats the “good teams don’t lose two in a row trope” and we hit the 10K mark on the bourbon thread about CGC.
Week 11, no place like home: we beat Miami and stop the skid.
@kg01 has been blocked by the 8-10 blowhards on here that only kvetch about the program but can’t take the heat from our guy’s kitchen and there is some hilarity between people missing posts because of the blocked content. I start quoting
@kg01 in an unholy alliance to make sure the haters have to read his katana like sharp wit and get the both of us put in the SinBin*.
*Just kidding mods, no posters were injured during the creation of this hypothetical- plus if we are 6-4 in the way I have described at this points wouldn’t I have enough time traveler cred to be unbannable? Like don’t mess with that MidtownJacketMagic™
Week 12, UNCheat gets taken to the woodshed: The coaches have our guys playing to their potential and there is talk of JS10 being a darkhorse Heisman candidate next year. Also someone tweets @Suddes about bad Mojo for leaving us and the board has an illogical and totally odd minibattle where the malcontents who have been silenced start throwing rocks at our staff for not having mad changes sooner. Because some of us just can’t be happy.
Week 13+, shudder, champagne shower and introspection: Jowja beats us but not nearly as badly as this past season. They make it a point to do a ceremony at the half honoring their previous natty. I drink a good half bottle of an even better bottle of bourbon and console the chat with a reminder we are at 7-5, going to a sweet bowl game (which we go on to win and I get to finish that good bottle under happier circumstances) to finish the season in spectacular form at 8-5 and having made positive signs across the board.
Recruiting picks up, donors have formed NIL slush funds and we start to open the next brave chapter of Georgia Tech Football.
Go jackets!