Funny Stuff

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walk, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world".
"I am entering" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how did you do?"
"First Place" said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering" says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
“First Place" answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?”

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?
Pinocchio says "This is mine."
Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked
"Who the hell is Nancy Pelosi?"

 

[lauraee]

Bonus dig at uncheats.

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

An assistant to Nancy Pelosi told her she had a fantastic dream last night. There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Nancy went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen.
Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"

Her assistant replied,

"I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."

 

[dtm1997]

An assistant to Mitch McConnell told him he had a fantastic dream last night. There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating McConnell. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Mitch went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen.

Mitch was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my neck okay?"

His assistant replied,

"I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."

 

[dtm1997]

An assistant to Chuck Schumer told him he had a fantastic dream last night. There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating Schumer. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Chuck went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen.

Chuck was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Were my glasses on the tip of my nose?"

His assistant replied,

"I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

An assistant to Mitch McConnell told him he had a fantastic dream last night. There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating McConnell. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Mitch went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen.

Mitch was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my neck okay?"

His assistant replied,

"I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."

Copycat. LOL

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

Hilarious quip by comic Dennis Miller

"Dr. Fauci told Nancy Pelosi that she shouldn't touch either of her faces while in quarantine"

 

[dtm1997]

Copycat. LOL

It's true. Just wanted to show how your Pelosi jokes are often times multi-purpose.

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

It's true. Just wanted to show how your Pelosi jokes are often times multi-purpose.

Lots of jokes are multi-purpose. The one I also posted by Dennis Miller though was his own creation.

 

[Techster]

It's true. Just wanted to show how your Pelosi jokes are often times multi-purpose.

 

[dtm1997]

Lots of jokes are multi-purpose. The one I also posted by Dennis Miller though was his own creation.

Yeah. I didn't copycat that one because I didn't want to research the source.

Didn't know Dennis Miller was still making jokes. Haven't heard anything about him.in a long time.

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

Yeah. I didn't copycat that one because I didn't want to research the source.

Didn't know Dennis Miller was still making jokes. Haven't heard anything about him.in a long time.

He appears from time to time on Sean Hannity's show. He is very much pro-Trump, unlike most in his business. He told that joke last night.

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

 

[dtm1997]

He appears from time to time on Sean Hannity's show. He is very much pro-Trump, unlike most in his business. He told that joke last night.

Interesting. Not sure I'd heard from Dennis Miller since Joe Dirt.

 

[Techster]

Can someone tell me what gender was revealed? (Ignore the child abuse..)

 

[Milwaukee]

Interesting. Not sure I'd heard from Dennis Miller since Joe Dirt.

And Murder at 1600

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

Once a year, citizens are allowed to drive their cars and bikes on the raceway at Nurburgring, Germany. This is a hilarious compilation of the results ---

 

[lauraee]

Once a year, citizens are allowed to drive their cars and bikes on the raceway at Nurburgring, Germany. This is a hilarious compilation of the results ---

I wouldn't say hilarious. More like a deadly cluster ####. Darwinism at its finest.

 

[Supersizethatorder-mutt]

I wouldn't say hilarious. More like a deadly cluster ####. Darwinism at its finest.

I can't argue with that, but I still couldn't help but laugh at it.

 

[MountainBuzzMan]

I wouldn't say hilarious. More like a deadly cluster ####. Darwinism at its finest.

That is why you got to love the Germans. If you notice on the crashes, it looks like the cars handled them well without any real intrusions into the drivers areas. (Though I am sure most were totaled ). Can't speak for the idiot that had all the under car air channeling that made the car turn into a plane.

Also, don't destroy one of my bucket list dreams with all your negativity.