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dtm1997

Helluva Engineer
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15,708
Im not really interested in any of their opinions until they are well into their 30’s. Used to be younger, but people grow up slower now. Live on your own, hold down a job, pay your own bills, start a family, and them I’m more interested in your take.

To be clear, if a person doesn't start a family, they don't meet your prerequisites to be interested in their takes?
 

dtm1997

Helluva Engineer
Featured Member
Messages
15,708
I think he means "become a responsible adult." Generally, having kids goes a long way in adjusting the mindset of a person from it being about "me" to being about "someone else."

I appreciate you stating your view.

I'll step from behind my veil of anonymous keyboard warrior and tell you a little something about me.

I'm in my mid-40s and in my adult life never got comfortable with the idea of starting a family until ultimately making the decision, for a variety of personal reasons that I won't detail, that I have no intention of ever getting married or having children. I've had many friends tell me I'd be a great dad and I adore some of my friends' kids, but it never felt like the right choice for me.

I have a job, pay my bills & mortgage, call my parents on the regular, am kind & generous to my friends, attempt to be law-abiding, and donate to charities and other causes, chief among them GT Athletics.

At my core, I'll readily admit, I'm ultimately a selfish person, not at the expense of others, but in the way I allocate my own resources towards myself, my interests and those I'm interested in.

Based on what I just wrote, I'd ask you to please reconsider the way in which you apply generalities or, possibly, personal definitions of societal norms to frame up what a "responsible adult" may be. I recognize you used the qualifying word "Generally", but I think you'll find there are more & more people out there who fit the "responsible adult" bill, while choosing a different path than starting a family.

Just a request to consider a differing point of view on lifestyle choices.
 

684Bee

Helluva Engineer
Messages
1,643
I think he means "become a responsible adult." Generally, having kids goes a long way in adjusting the mindset of a person from it being about "me" to being about "someone else."

Thank you for not picking out one single thing and grasping more of the spirit of what I was saying.

And, yes, there is something about having a family and going through the experience of being both a husband and father that both matures you and humbles you at the same time.
 

684Bee

Helluva Engineer
Messages
1,643
I appreciate you stating your view.

I'll step from behind my veil of anonymous keyboard warrior and tell you a little something about me.

I'm in my mid-40s and in my adult life never got comfortable with the idea of starting a family until ultimately making the decision, for a variety of personal reasons that I won't detail, that I have no intention of ever getting married or having children. I've had many friends tell me I'd be a great dad and I adore some of my friends' kids, but it never felt like the right choice for me.

I have a job, pay my bills & mortgage, call my parents on the regular, am kind & generous to my friends, attempt to be law-abiding, and donate to charities and other causes, chief among them GT Athletics.

At my core, I'll readily admit, I'm ultimately a selfish person, not at the expense of others, but in the way I allocate my own resources towards myself, my interests and those I'm interested in.

Based on what I just wrote, I'd ask you to please reconsider the way in which you apply generalities or, possibly, personal definitions of societal norms to frame up what a "responsible adult" may be. I recognize you used the qualifying word "Generally", but I think you'll find there are more & more people out there who fit the "responsible adult" bill, while choosing a different path than starting a family.

Just a request to consider a differing point of view on lifestyle choices.

Totally cool with that. I have a brother that fits that bill, as well.

You latched onto one part of what I laid out and seem to be a little sensitive about it.

Again, I have no issue with your choice. It’s your choice, and that’s what works for you.
 

dtm1997

Helluva Engineer
Featured Member
Messages
15,708
Totally cool with that. I have a brother that fits that bill, as well.

You latched onto one part of what I laid out and seem to be a little sensitive about it.

Again, I have no issue with your choice. It’s your choice, and that’s what works for you.

You're right. I did latch on to it and can accept being called sensitive about it.

The message I'm really trying to espouse is that there's no checklist of an individual's characteristics for any of us to consider when taking another human being's point of view under consideration.

I'm not suggesting you shouldn't call complete bull**** on many many points of views after considering them, but all of us (human beings) deserve the chance to at least have them considered.
 

dtm1997

Helluva Engineer
Featured Member
Messages
15,708
Thank you for not picking out one single thing and grasping more of the spirit of what I was saying.

And, yes, there is something about having a family and going through the experience of being both a husband and father that both matures you and humbles you at the same time.

By the way, my personal choice doesn't make me believe the bold & underlined to be untrue. I've seen many examples of this among my friends and my hope is that is how things unfold for my friends who do choose that path.

Additionally, I don't want to belabor my point, but I could've poked holes in some of the other criteria. I just chose to poke the hole in the item most relevant to me today.
 

684Bee

Helluva Engineer
Messages
1,643
By the way, my personal choice doesn't make me believe the bold & underlined to be untrue. I've seen many examples of this among my friends and my hope is that is how things unfold for my friends who do choose that path.

Additionally, I don't want to belabor my point, but I could've poked holes in some of the other criteria. I just chose to poke the hole in the item most relevant to me today.

I understand.

My main thing is a lot of these young folks just haven’t had the life experiences yet. We were all there at some point.
 

forensicbuzz

21st Century Throwback Dad
Messages
8,847
Location
North Shore, Chicago
I appreciate you stating your view.

I'll step from behind my veil of anonymous keyboard warrior and tell you a little something about me.

I'm in my mid-40s and in my adult life never got comfortable with the idea of starting a family until ultimately making the decision, for a variety of personal reasons that I won't detail, that I have no intention of ever getting married or having children. I've had many friends tell me I'd be a great dad and I adore some of my friends' kids, but it never felt like the right choice for me.

I have a job, pay my bills & mortgage, call my parents on the regular, am kind & generous to my friends, attempt to be law-abiding, and donate to charities and other causes, chief among them GT Athletics.

At my core, I'll readily admit, I'm ultimately a selfish person, not at the expense of others, but in the way I allocate my own resources towards myself, my interests and those I'm interested in.

Based on what I just wrote, I'd ask you to please reconsider the way in which you apply generalities or, possibly, personal definitions of societal norms to frame up what a "responsible adult" may be. I recognize you used the qualifying word "Generally", but I think you'll find there are more & more people out there who fit the "responsible adult" bill, while choosing a different path than starting a family.

Just a request to consider a differing point of view on lifestyle choices.
I totally understand this. I wasn't making a judgement, as we all live our lives the way we do for whatever reasons we have. Both of my wife's siblings married but decided not to have children. I have a closely aged aunt who is the same. My brother is like you, a lifelong bachelor. I have no judgement on how they live their lives, it's theirs to live. I responded, as a father of 5 in his 50's, who had his first at 29, from personal experience. I grew and matured greatly from 29 to 34 and when I then had 3 kids. My viewpoint of the world changed drastically.
 

dtm1997

Helluva Engineer
Featured Member
Messages
15,708
I understand.

My main thing is a lot of these young folks just haven’t had the life experiences yet. We were all there at some point.

And that's true. In a way, it's more reason for you to be open minded to a young person's take. Maybe they actually come up with something of value to you or maybe they come up with something that's such garbage that you're the one adding to their life experiences & knowledge base.
 

forensicbuzz

21st Century Throwback Dad
Messages
8,847
Location
North Shore, Chicago
And that's true. In a way, it's more reason for you to be open minded to a young person's take. Maybe they actually come up with something of value to you or maybe they come up with something that's such garbage that you're the one adding to their life experiences & knowledge base.
This is true. The older my kids get (my oldest 3 are 21, 19, and 17) the more I realize that they actually have something interesting to say (along with all the crap they spew).
 

dtm1997

Helluva Engineer
Featured Member
Messages
15,708
I totally understand this. I wasn't making a judgement, as we all live our lives the way we do for whatever reasons we have. Both of my wife's siblings married but decided not to have children. I have a closely aged aunt who is the same. My brother is like you, a lifelong bachelor. I have no judgement on how they live their lives, it's theirs to live. I responded, as a father of 5 in his 50's, who had his first at 29, from personal experience. I grew and matured greatly from 29 to 34 and when I then had 3 kids. My viewpoint of the world changed drastically.

Thanks. You clearly get it and I agree with your point of view based on your personal experience. I've seen it backed up first hand among my friends who married & had kids that were previously loose cannons.
 

BleedGoldNWhite21

Helluva Engineer
Messages
1,471
Im not really interested in any of their opinions until they are well into their 30’s. Used to be younger, but people grow up slower now. Live on your own, hold down a job, pay your own bills, start a family, and them I’m more interested in your take.

The oldest millennials are 39 this year and the youngest are 24. The majority of millennials are in their 30s.
 

TheSilasSonRising

Helluva Engineer
Messages
3,729
Trump is a human troll. No 75 year old is an Antifa terrorist. However, did you see the video of his fall? He had his phone out waving it on the officers' bodies and equipment. They were right to give him a stiff arm to create space between them. I have no idea what that old guy was doing. My issue is that once he fell and hit his head, nobody seemed to care and tons of officers just walked right over his body.

Why care at something so glorious and hysterical?
 
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