Favorite u(sic)ga Jokes?

[Towaliga]

Living within 30 miles of the cesspool of the south, I am constantly needing to put a nadlicker in his place. I thought I would start this thread to get some new jokes to add to my arsenal. Please provide your favorite joke(s). I'll go first.

1. Q: Why does Walmart sell more uga gear than any other retailer? A: Employee Discounts

2. A woman in Athens called the police to report a carjacking. They asked her to describe the perpetrator. She replied "I didn't get a good look at his face, but I did get his jersey number".

 

[5277hike]

Living within 30 miles of the cesspool of the south, I am constantly needing to put a nadlicker in his place. I thought I would start this thread to get some new jokes to add to my arsenal. Please provide your favorite joke(s). I'll go first.

1. Q: Why does Walmart sell more uga gear than any other retailer? A: Employee Discounts

2. A woman in Athens called the police to report a carjacking. They asked her to describe the perpetrator. She replied "I didn't get a good look at his face, but I did get his jersey number".

Q? How many University (sic) of Georgia jokes are there? A: Just one. The rest are all true!

 

[stech81]

At the Tech uga game, some uga students threw firecrackers at the Tech students, the tech students lit them and threw them back.

 

[stech81]

Two uga guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him and says, "you can but the dog may bite you.

If you have a car containing a Georgia Bulldogs wide receiver, a Georgia Bulldogs linebacker, and a Georgia Bulldogs defensive back, who is driving the car?
a cop


Bubba was a Georgia grad, and to celebrate his recent graduation, he flew up to Boston to spend a few days with a friend. The two got invited to a local college party. Bubba was wandering around when he saw some cute girls standing around talking. Always the smooth ladies man, Bubba walked over and said to an attractive brunette, "Um.... Hi. whur do y'all go to school?"

With her nose tipped up into the air, she coldly replied, "Yale."

So Bubba looked around, thought for a second, and said, "Aight. WHUR DO Y'ALL GO TO SCHOOL????


Why can you not trust uga trained engineers?

Because they put a column in the middle of their arch.


and last
Where is the best place to information on uga football players?
The Athens PD Blotter

 

[Bogey]

My favorite is the one about a guy needing a brain transplant and the surgeon offers him 3 options, one of which is from a Tech fan and another from a UGA fan. When asked why the UGA brain was so much more expensive than the Tech brain, doc said the UGA brain has been used very very little and is in mint condition.

 

[Towaliga]

What do the average Tech fan and the average uga fan have in common? Neither one of them got a college education in Athens.

 

[bob4gt]

uga fan meets a Bama fan walking down the road carrying a sack.
uga: "Whatcha got in the sack?
Bama: "Chickens.
uga: If I can guess how many will you give me one?
Bama: "If you guess right I'll give you both of them.
uga: "THREE!

 

[GTRX7]

Always loved this moment by the Beesball team from this rivalry game!

 

[Wreck02]

This one!

 

[bigrabbit]

Did you hear about the uga golfer injured at a recent tournament?
He fell off a ball washer.

 

[Dinner_Jacket]

Nuff said!

 

[GTpdm]

A Tech man walks into a bar. He sits down and tells the bartender, “I have this really good uGA joke…” The bartender cuts him off and says, “This here is the Dawg Pound Bar. I’m a former uGA receiver. See the guy over to your left? He’s a former offensive lineman. The guy on you left, at the corner of the bar? He’s a former linebacker known for hitting so hard he could knock your teeth loose. Do you really want to tell a uGA joke?”

”Never mind,” the Tech man says. “I don’t want to have to explain the joke three times.”

 

[TooTall]

 

[MWBATL]

View attachment 15191View attachment 15192View attachment 15193

I would LOVE to find that onesie

 

[GTOXAN2K11]

Why doesn’t uga have ice in the cafeteria?

The person with the recipe graduated!

 

[ThatGuy]

A uGA fan is walking down the street with a pig under his arm.

Someone comes up and says “Where’d you get that?”

The pig says, “I won him at the fair.”

 

[Wildbilliam1990]

How do you get the uga Rhodes scholar off your front porch? You pay him for your pizza.

 

[TechBurn]

“Did you hear that the dwags had to cancel both drivers education classes & sex education classes????”
(The female mule died!!)
(Actually an Auburn joke, but appropriate for the dwags!!!)

 

[Randy Carson]

Since we have a few hours to kill before kickoff, I thought it might be fun to dust off some old classics. Here's one:

Three guys walk into a bar which has a robot bartender with the ability to converse with anyone regardless of their IQ.

Robot bartender goes up to the first patron and asks, "What would you like to drink?"
"Whiskey, clear," states patron #1.
Robot bartender asks the patron what his IQ is and the patron states 175. Robot bartender proceeds to converse with the patron about theoretical physics, rocket science and brain surgery. After a long and involved discussion of the topics, the patron pays his bill and gratefully thanks the robot bartender for the challenging and interesting discussion.

Robot bartender goes up to patron #2.
"What would you like to drink?"
"A nice Lager," states patron #2.
Robot bartender asks the patron what his IQ is and the patron states 145. Robot bartender proceeds to converse with the patron about engineering principles, automobile design, Architecture, and various other technical topics. After a long and involved discussion of the topics, the patron pays his bill and gratefully thanks the robot bartender for the challenging and interesting discussion.

Robot bartender goes up to patron #3.
"What would you like to drink?"
"Light beer," states patron #3.
Robot bartender asks the patron what his IQ is, and the patron states "Dunno..is 100 good?"
Robot bartender says, "How 'bout them dawgs!"

 

[Randy Carson]

Mark Richt and Paul Johnson both die on the same day, and both are eligible for a happy, eternal post-season.

God greets them at the pearly gates then asks CPJ to wait while he shows CMR around. God shows him the streets of gold and the angelic choir. As they approach a small house decorated with UGA banners, God tells Richt that this will be his home in heaven for eternity. CMR is pleased as it is a nice house.

Taking in the view from his new home, CMR sees a huge mansion atop the clouds, painted white and gold, and with columns completely covered with GT banners and decorations...a gleaming replica of the Ramblin' Wreck parked in front. CMR turns to God and says, "God, while on earth I was a good Christian man, adopted several deserving children, went on mission trips, and was the best person I could be."

"That's correct Mark, and your dedication and service is greatly appreciated," God replies.

"Then why have I gotten this small house when Paul Johnson gets that glorious mansion on the hill."

"Mark, don't be silly. That's not Coach Johnson's house. It's mine."