I was reading the “Is there news (no news)” thread, looking for insightful post (yes, there really are some good posts in that thread, if you wade through enough BS), and I saw this one by RamblinRed (abbreviated here, but the whole dang post is worth a read…):
A bit further on, I saw this:
Both posts got me thinking…if you could assign a numerical score in each area—Recruiting, Development, and (game day) Coaching, what would you choose? And then I thought, since you are assigning numbers, make it a role-playing game, like D&D. You know…set key attributes for a character that define their abilities.
In D&D, each attribute is determined randomly in a 3-18 range, by the sum of 3 dice. God forbid we rely on that mechanism for creating a Head Coach character. What if you roll a 15 for Recruiting, and 5s for both Development and Coaching? (Can you imagine what that would be like?
)
I thought instead: what if you used the other, zero-sum, RPG character-creation mechanism: give the player a fixed number of attribute points, and let them split those starting point however they choose.
So here is the College Football Coach RPG character generation rules:
- You get 12 attributes points for your HC, to be split among three categories: Recruiting, Development, and Coaching. That’s it, 12 points. You are building a Level-1 P5 coach (all we can afford right now), not a Level-20 Saban-caliber coaching master.
- Each category gets a minimum of one point.
- We are talking about the HC’s skill in each area, not how successful the program as a whole is in each area. The idea is, what distribution of the three skill does the HC bring to the table as a starting point for building the program?
- No monkey business about assistant coaches. You can’t give your HC a 10 in some category with the assumption that your OC or DC will make up the deficit in other categories. This is all about your HC defining your program.
With those guide rules, we can identify the three “archetype” head coaches:
The Recruitinator (10-1-1)
This young, energetic, and immensely charismatic coach is a real charmer. With a few words and a smile, he can convince every potential recruit that they are NFL bound—but only if they join HIS program. He is also a master of dirty recruiting tactics, often tricking fans of other teams into negative-recruiting their own program.
Favorite Strategy: At away games, the Recruitinator likes to casually stroll by the fan section hosting his opponent’s visiting recruits, poaching 2 or 3 of the best ones on the spot.
Special Ability: Once per recruiting season, he may helicopter to anywhere in the continental US, and immediately extract a Letter of Commitment from a 5-star who was not even considering his program.
Weakness: Gameday—specifically, anything after the team walkthrough. On the sidelines, give him a headset not connected to anything and stand him as close as possible to the section with visiting recruits. Have assistants constantly rushing up to him with clipboards, pretend to receive sage advice from him, and rush away again. It will help him impress the recruits, while keeping him out of the way of the real business. DO NOT let him attempt to call a time out (see: the Gameday Wizard), and make sure you have a Get-Bak Coach to pull him away any time he approaches within 15 yards of a game official.
Vulnerabilities: His immense charisma leaves him prone to womanizing. Keep him away from female assistants/trainers, the other coaches’s wives, and any of the women’s sport teams. Basically, don’t leave him alone in a room with anything that breathes.
The Hoss Whisperer (1-10-1)
This coach turns 2-star recruits into 4-star players, 3-star recruits into 5-star players, and 4-star recruits into…well…you DID see the Recruiting attribute of “1”, didn’t you? He doesn’t get 4- or 5-star recruits…not that he ever needs them.
Favorite Strategy: Punting on first down. The Hoss Whisperer fields a team of players who have become Total Ballers, excelling at having no game plan. What better play call than a special teams extravaganza, to make you players‘ havok potential work for you? Surprisingly, they score on half their punts.
Special Ability: Once per game, he can call one player aside for a pep-talk. For that player the true meaning of football will come through, and he will gain the strength of ten Grinches, plus two…but only for the remainder of that quarter.
Weakness: Defending the Triple Option. Sure, we all know the blueprint for defeating the TO: just play assignment football. But when your team is filled with Total Ballers, asking them to “play assignment football” is like asking an Eskimo to shear a sheep with a banana.
Vulnerability: The NFL Draft. His player development is so legendary that the NFL grants everyone on his team an eligibility waiver, allowing them to be drafted as early as their freshman year.
The Gameday Wizard (1-1-10)
This coach is the ultimate competitor, and a mastermind of the Xs and Os of football. He has also mastered every strategy known to mankind. Sun-Tzu? An amateur. Frederick the Great? A hack. Mister Spock? Can beat him at 3D chess in three moves. Usually makes his halftime adjustments on the fly, during the coin-toss.
Favorite strategy: Scoring on the first play from scrimmage, based on a weakness he observed during the other team’s warmups.
Special Ability: Once per game, he can trick the other team into calling a timeout, rather than using one of his own.
Weakness: Practice. The players at his disposal are exclusively 2-star, and are not likely to get better no matter how many reps they get. The Game Wizard would win every game by 5 or more touchdowns, if only he could get his #*$@%! players to
execute, dammit!
Vulnerability: Ironically, tic-tac-toe.
Okay, with those archetypes set, how would YOU distribute the attribute points for YOUR preferred (starting-level) HC? I’m guessing bobongo would go heavy on Recruiting—he sees it as paramount, after all. Would he choose to go all the way to the Recruitinator archetype? Probably not—but I’d be interested to hear how he’d split his 12 points…
Me? I’d probably go 3-5-4. I want to see a rough balance in all areas, but I’m willing to sacrifice some recruiting skill in favor of player development and game day coaching. Recruiting talent is really important, but I figure that having a reputation for developing players—and having game-day coaching that elevates your W/L ratio—can bring in talent based on the program‘s reputation, regardless of the coach’s ability to directly woo recruits.
At least, that’s the way I see it. How would you distribute your 12 attribute points, to create your ideal Level-1 P5 head coach?
