Clean Old Fashioned Hate Hacker's Case Resolved

Bruce Wayne

Helluva Engineer
Messages
1,870
Here is how the hacker's case ended up being settled. At least he can avoid having a felony charge on his record.

The interesting part of his punishment is writing a letter of apology to UGA. I suggest that in writing the apology letter he:

1) Write it in crayon and draw illustrations so that they can follow along over there.
2) Include the lines: "When I hacked your website to schedule the *** kicking you would be receiving at the hands of the Yellow Jackets, never did I expect all that has transpired. Instead of a simple *** kicking by a clearly superior team on your home field your team had to suffer a soul crushing defeat despite the best efforts of your crooked refs. I apologize for my inaccurate editing of your online schedule of events."

Anyone else care to help the hacker write his apology letter?
 

Skeptic

Helluva Engineer
Messages
6,372
Here is how the hacker's case ended up being settled. At least he can avoid having a felony charge on his record.

The interesting part of his punishment is writing a letter of apology to UGA. I suggest that in writing the apology letter he:

1) Write it in crayon and draw illustrations so that they can follow along over there.
2) Include the lines: "When I hacked your website to schedule the *** kicking you would be receiving at the hands of the Yellow Jackets, never did I expect all that has transpired. Instead of a simple *** kicking by a clearly superior team on your home field your team had to suffer a soul crushing defeat despite the best efforts of your crooked refs. I apologize for my inaccurate editing of your online schedule of events."

Anyone else care to help the hacker write his apology letter?
Holy smokes, Bruce Wayne. Get back in your Bat Cave this instant before you get really mean.
 

IEEEWreck

Ramblin' Wreck
Messages
655
I would like to emphasize that this was a foolish, immature act sparked by a juvenal mindset of which I am now deeply ashamed. It seemed to me at the time that in the context of football's most intense rivalry, something like posting a message on a calendar would be seen as harmless fun, and in the spirit of a long history of such pranks back and forth.

I especially did not grasp the gravity of violating U(sic) gA's internet security. To my 18 year old mind, if the university (sic) cared so little for making even the most basic attempts to secure the system, well, then surely they did not care if it was compromised for a little prank. Again, the raw immaturity of that view pains me now.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have realized that although your fine 'school' may care not at all about internet security, there are many fine men and women there who hate being exposed as feckless and incompetent. I certainly would understand that, in the context of an *** beating so severe that even blatant violation of the rules encouraged and enacted by the officiating crew could not save the game, anger and vanity would overwhelm what little professionalism the officials both at U(sic) gA and the Clark County prosecutor's office possessed.

It pains me that my actions reflect so poorly on Georgia Tech in general and the School of Electrical and Computer Engineering specifically. Again, had I known then what I know today, I would have used a much more sophisticated attack, and enlisted the help of my fellow Ramblin' Wrecks. Had I the chance to do it all over, we would redirect every one of your internal webpages to a rotating selection of such fine sites as goatse.cx and lemonparty.org.

By way of offering amends, I have changed one of your webpages to redirect every fifth viewer to a video of the pick, and every ninth viewer to a picture of the kick. I hope that this offering of help to increase the value of the education your students receive demonstrates how truly remorseful I am. It is my earnest hope that the football team will continue to deliver educations of this variety, so that your fans might have cause to stop in their drunken, querulous binges and in that moment of cognitive dissonance, wonder what they have been doing with their lives.
 

Ash

Ramblin' Wreck
Messages
766
Thank you for providing the circumstance by which I was able to realize that I can predict the future.
 

Eastman

Helluva Engineer
Messages
1,289
Location
Columbia, SC
"I am truly remorseful and have no excuse. I had been taught from childhood not to take advantage of the simple-minded, but did so anyway. Additionally, although my prediction was accurate, I regret that by beating the crap out of your team, our team took away one of the few bright spots in the lives of your fans, namely being able to brag about the fact that their college team beat the team of the college their boss attended."

"I also want you to know that I am a changed man who will be much more sensitive overall to the feelings of your graduates and student athletes. To demonstrate my sincere repentance, I will do my very best to refrain from speaking about this year's game in any venue, like burger joints, where I suspect high levels of UGA graduates and former athletes may be employed."
 

Wrecking Ball

Ramblin' Wreck
Messages
694
We should all handwrite letters to UGA apologizing for stuff like this

Imagine if they got 5,000 handwritten letters apologizing for everything from the lack of student athlete housing in the publicly funded Athens jail; the lack of support and funding for majors like Paint by Numbers, etc.
 

TheGridironGeek

Jolly Good Fellow
Messages
276
I would like to emphasize that this was a foolish, immature act sparked by a juvenal mindset of which I am now deeply ashamed. It seemed to me at the time that in the context of football's most intense rivalry, something like posting a message on a calendar would be seen as harmless fun, and in the spirit of a long history of such pranks back and forth.

I especially did not grasp the gravity of violating U(sic) gA's internet security. To my 18 year old mind, if the university (sic) cared so little for making even the most basic attempts to secure the system, well, then surely they did not care if it was compromised for a little prank. Again, the raw immaturity of that view pains me now.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have realized that although your fine 'school' may care not at all about internet security, there are many fine men and women there who hate being exposed as feckless and incompetent. I certainly would understand that, in the context of an *** beating so severe that even blatant violation of the rules encouraged and enacted by the officiating crew could not save the game, anger and vanity would overwhelm what little professionalism the officials both at U(sic) gA and the Clark County prosecutor's office possessed.

It pains me that my actions reflect so poorly on Georgia Tech in general and the School of Electrical and Computer Engineering specifically. Again, had I known then what I know today, I would have used a much more sophisticated attack, and enlisted the help of my fellow Ramblin' Wrecks. Had I the chance to do it all over, we would redirect every one of your internal webpages to a rotating selection of such fine sites as goatse.cx and lemonparty.org.

By way of offering amends, I have changed one of your webpages to redirect every fifth viewer to a video of the pick, and every ninth viewer to a picture of the kick. I hope that this offering of help to increase the value of the education your students receive demonstrates how truly remorseful I am. It is my earnest hope that the football team will continue to deliver educations of this variety, so that your fans might have cause to stop in their drunken, querulous binges and in that moment of cognitive dissonance, wonder what they have been doing with their lives.

The ONLY way he could get away with something like that would be to make it completely over-the-top complimentary, to where no formal basis existed to doubt the sincerity but it would be immediately recognized as ridiculous by anyone with a clear head. Something along the lines of Jack Nicholson's wedding reception speech in About Schmidt.
 
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